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We love Chili's!
Chili's is a huge supporter of St. Jude Children's Research Hospital and recently completed the Chili's Care Center as part of their $50 million (over ten years) commitment to St. Jude.


How to Help a Family

Rather than sit back and do nothing, the best thing you can do for a family whose child has cancer is to do SOMETHING. Even after you have asked if there is anything that you can do and the family says there is nothing you can do; do something anyway. Often times parents feel overwhelmed by the generosity of others and feel guilty about accepting help and acts of kindness. That is why it is so important for friends and family members to refuse to take "no" for an answer. More often than not it is best to go ahead and do something for the family instead of asking first.

You can also check out the informational web sites we have compiled for you that may be of interest to the family.

Here are some ideas of things that you can do to help a family whose child has been diagnosed with cancer:

  1. Put together a meal rotation so that every day a meal is delivered to the home or to the hospital.

  2. Fill a bag of essential items that a person would need if they suddenly found out they had to spend a week at the hospital. This could include magazines, crossword puzzles, hand lotion, gum, mints, pens, a notebook and pen and Tylenol for headaches (because there will be a lot of headaches)!

  3. Bring a bag or box full of various snacks, sodas, juices and water to the hospital room. The days can be long and busy without much time for the parents to sneak away for a bite to eat. Having the snacks close by may encourage them to eat during a time when they may not feel like eating.

  4. If a Mom or Dad is alone with the child, come over to stay with the child while you give the parent a chance to get away for a shower or a nap.

  5. Remember that most oncology units do not allow flowers. Latex balloons are not allowed in the hospital setting. However, Mylar balloons are allowed.

  6. While the company of friends and family can be very comforting at the hospital, this time can also be very exhausting for the parents, especially if the child was just recently diagnosed with cancer. Try to limit your time visiting.

  7. Don't forget about the siblings! The siblings are the unsung heroes. Offer to take a sibling for the day and/or for overnights. Make the siblings feel special. They need attention and to know that they are loved.

  8. If the family has pets, offer to care for them so that the family has one less thing to worry about.

  9. Arrange to do some house cleaning and laundry for the family; do it yourself or hire a housekeeper. Make sure you get the okay from the family first.

  10. Do not ask the parents to call you to give you updates on the status of their child. During this time, the parents need time with their child and should not feel obligated to make phone calls. It is okay to recommend that a family member start a carepage www.carepages.com or caringbridge page www.caringbridge.org as a less time consuming way to update friends and family.

  11. Sitting around in a hospital room can get pretty boring, especially for a child. Bring or send age appropriate toys, books, activity books and games.

  12. For long days spent at the hospital for chemotherapy or waiting for appointments, it may be nice for the child to have a portable DVD player with movies. For older kids, they may appreciate an MP3 player or iPod with a gift card for music downloads.

  13. Gift cards are a wonderful gift. Gas cards are nice to give if the family is traveling a long distance between home and hospital. In some areas of hospitals, cell phones are not allowed, so it would be helpful for the family to have phone cards. You can never go wrong with restaurant gift cards since the hospital food can get pretty old. Just be sure to find out which restaurants are located near the hospital or their home so that the family doesn't have to think about cooking meals. Chili's www.chilis.com is a great restaurant to choose for gift cards as they donate money to St. Jude Children's Research Hospital. In effect, you are supporting two causes; a family that has been directly affected by pediatric cancer and the research to cure childhood cancer.

  14. Once a child starts chemotherapy, their taste buds change and they may experience a lot of nausea and vomiting. At the same time, it is very important for these kids to maintain their weight as much as possible. Find out what the child likes to eat and either make it or order it to be delivered. Homemade items such as cookies and brownies are a good choice. Or send gift cards for yummy foods such as www.baskinrobbins.com, www.cookiesbydesign.com, or www.jambajuice.com.

  15. Do not share and compare your stories of older family members or friends having cancer with the parents. The situation is completely different when a child has cancer, AND especially different when it is your own child. The parents will most likely tune you out anyway.

  16. Sometimes birthdays have to be spent in the hospital or far from home. The parents may not have the time or energy to plan a birthday party. Visit www.birthdayinabox.com which is a very useful website if you would like to take care of this for the parents. You can literally choose a theme and have all of the supplies needed to throw a birthday party shipped in a box to the family. Call a local grocery store or bakery to have a cake delivered.

  17. If the child with cancer is an infant, think of things that the baby would like to look at while in a hospital room. Mobiles, balloons and crib toys will bring a lot of joy and comfort. Babies also enjoy listening to music, so consider giving lullaby CDs or other age appropriate music and musical toys. Insider tip: The Playskool Gloworm was a favorite of Natalie's during her hospital stays.

Just remember that whatever it is that you choose to do for a family affected by pediatric cancer, you will be forever remembered and appreciated. While you may not get a thank you note, it does not mean that the parents were not touched by your kindness.

For easy reference, we suggest that you download this list as a printable PDF. You can also email it to your friends and family.